A Simple Trick For Stopping Anxiety In Its Tracks

We all have things we want to achieve in life, and we all have things that have a habit of getting in the way. The most common culprit is the anxiety that seizes us, planting seeds of doubt in our own abilities. But how do we tame this unwelcome stealer of potential?

Today, since we’re dealing with the topic of anxiety, I thought I would get real and share with you my own recent duels with stress. Making this blog was one of those things for me, and I want to share with you how I’ve overcome it.

Now, I’ve been doing public speaking for many years. I talk to clients all the time, and I’m very comfortable in that conversational space. But as soon as a camera was pointed at my face to record this blog, a lot of my old insecurities crept up. There was something about the unblinking, unforgiving eye of the lens that made me freeze up, overthink, and trip over my words.

I had two options - to give into my fear and give up, or find a way to make sure you could be here today, reading this blog. My secret weapon? A simple little CBT trick called ‘changing the story’. I’m going to share with you how I used it and how you can benefit from it, too.

Recognizing The Story

Cognitive behavior therapy has taught us that, by reframing the anxious story we’re telling ourselves, we take away its power. But before we can change the story, we must recognize the narrative that is causing our fear. My oldest story was that I wasn’t good enough, and once the camera was fixed on me, it reared its ugly head.

My internal narrative said things like, “Oh, you’re not young enough to do a blog. Oh, your voice is a little off. Oh, your clothes aren’t stylish enough for video.” Maybe you can relate to this sort of internal dialogue. For many people, it’s the experience of giving presentations or contributing to meetings at work. They look at their colleagues and feel like an outsider, that they’re not good enough.

What type of situations activate your anxious narratives? Bring one to mind, recognize the story, and keep reading to learn how to change it into something positive.

Flipping The Script

How did I change my story? I told myself that I had to get in front of the camera and pretend I’m in my office with one of my favorite clients, simply sharing the truth about how we can live more comfortably. I imagined that, instead of the camera’s unblinking eye, I was looking at the face of someone familiar who was enjoying what I had to share. 

The more I practiced this simple change of story, I noticed that the camera lens and the other people in the production room disappeared. My mind was at ease because the ‘not good enough’ narrative was replaced with a story about my message being valued. Without that old anxious dialogue, I’ve found that I very much enjoy creating and sharing these blogs with you!

Try It For Yourself

Now, call to mind the story you identified earlier. Let’s practice changing that anxious narrative into something empowering.

• Take a few deep breaths. Begin to think about a recent stressful situation that invoked a negative story that you tell to yourself. It might something like, ‘I’m too young, old, overwhelmed, inexperienced, etc.’ Recognize that story, whatever it may be.

• Now, consider what that negative story is preventing you from achieving. Is it keeping you from having your message heard? Getting that promotion? Forging better relationships? Take a look at the potential that story is stealing from you.

• Think about the result you want. It could be giving a presentation at work that earns recognition from your superiors. Or writing that article, email, or book. Or smoothing over a disagreement with someone you love so you can feel connected again. Hold that glimmering golden outcome in your mind and use it as motivation.

• Finally, create a new story that removes the power from the old, anxious story. Feel too inexperienced to write on a topic that you love? Tell yourself that the world is anxious to hear your fresh perspective. Feel too old to compete in a marathon race? Change your story to say, “ taking on this challenge will inspire other older adults to achieve things they didn’t think they could.” Once you have that new story, use your full imagination to bring it to life every time that doubt creeps up.

What are you waiting for? Maybe you can practice changing the story next time you’re sitting in a meeting, afraid to speak because you think everyone knows more than you. Or, try it when you’re feeling intimidated and you want to stand up and be heard. I encourage you to flip the script and take the risk. This is your life...live it at your full potential!

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