What's Your Stress MO?

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MO, or Modus Operandi means, “a particular way or method of doing something, especially one that is characteristic or well-established.”

In all my years of observing human behavior, I have always found it fascinating how differently each person reacts to stress. It seems these stress MOs are hard-wired and follow us through our lives. My question to you is...do you know yours?

It’s very important to hone in on your individual style so that you can mindfully temper it. With conscious awareness, you will be more able to present yourself in the world the way you really are, not the stressed out version.

Today I’m going to ask you to become your own stress detective, looking for clues that point to your unique stress MO. Once you’ve done some personal discovery, I’ll help you put your new knowledge to good work in elevating your life!

Take Hints From The Past

One way to investigate your stress MO is to look back at the last major stress event in your life. Maybe it’s your traffic-packed daily commute, a situation at work, or difficulty with your kids. It doesn’t matter. Close your eyes, call it to mind, and examine how you reacted to that stress.

How did you prepare for it, if at all? How were you feeling and behaving? Can you recall your stress coloring your attitudes about yourself, others, and the world? Did it make you behave differently in your interpersonal relationships? As you look back and observe, you may find that you don’t like the way stress made you act or feel. With this awareness, you are empowered to consciously monitor your negative ‘stress autopilot behaviors’ in the future.

Feeling Brave? Ask Someone!

We know ourselves better than anyone...for the most part. The truth is, we all have blind spots, especially when we’re too caught up in daily stress to take an inventory. The solution? Ask the people closest to you! Lovers, parents, friends, and even our older children are usually very familiar with how we behave during stressful times.

Ask them, “How do I act when I’m stressed? How can you tell that something is bothering me?”

Take their feedback to heart - their answers may surprise you!

Common Examples Of ‘Stress Styles’

There are infinite ways people can react to stress, but examining some of the main MOs can help you draw similarities and gain insight into your own experience. Below are a few examples. Read each and see if one resonates with you.

Anger Stress Style: Stress makes you feel angry, irritable, or grumpy. Once set off, you might find yourself getting into little unnecessary arguments during the day, judging others harshly, or resenting people over otherwise mundane things. Your jaw may be tense and your temper short. You notice family and coworkers try to keep their distance when you’re in this state.

Shut Down Stress Style: Stress makes you feel like you’re wading through tar - exhausted on a soul level. You find yourself socially isolating and sleeping more than usual. You might even take on feelings of sadness and despondence and become self-critical. When stressed, you’re quick to abandon your aspirations and say, “I guess I wasn’t meant to achieve this.”

High Gear Stress Style: You react to stress by denying it’s there and powering through it. It fuels you, which may seem like an advantage, but you are prone to burnout from your reluctance to slow down. Your energized reaction to stress may lead you to neglect healthy habits and tending to your physical needs. You may experience sleeping difficulties and lack an appetite.

As for myself, I was raised by a mother who taught me, “Ignore your body, ignore your pain, and keep going.” Thus, I tend to deny that I’m stressed and just push through. The key is that I have the self knowledge to recognize it, stop my pattern, and mindfully respond instead of react. Hopefully with your new insights, you will be empowered to take the same steps for yourself!

The Benefits Of Knowing Your Stress MO

Once you’ve examined your MO around stress, it’s time to put that knowledge to good use in your life! The main way we can benefit from this is in our relationships, whether it be with our family, friends, children, coworkers, or partners.

The first step is to let the people in your life know your MO. Perhaps you’ll find that they were taking some of your behavior toward them personally, when really you were just in a reactive state. Or, if they know that you shut down and give up when stressed, they can identify your cues and offer up encouragement when you need it most. Get to learn their MOs as well; you’ll find that needless arguments, hard feelings, and friction dissolves when you understand each other on this level.

Overall, understanding your MO around stress is about learning to respond instead of react. Reactivity can make us behave in ways that are not true to our good nature. So I want you to look today, right now, take a deep breath and investigate how you handle stress. You might discover something very interesting about yourself! Use it to smooth the path in front of you and smooth the way with the people around you...and reveal a more graceful you.