Make Self Care Work For You

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Strategies For Dissolving Stress That Fit Into Your Busy Schedule

Self care has become something of a buzzword in recent years. It conjures images of hot yoga, lengthy meditation retreats, expensive spa weekends, and elaborate whole food meal plans. But, if you’re like anyone living in the world today, your baseline is being busy 24/7, traffic, work, children, deadlines, people calling you and expecting things of you...the list goes on. Who has the time to make a whole production out of relaxing?

Today, I’m going to give you ideas on how to make self care work for you. And I’ll give you a hint...it doesn’t have to be expensive, time consuming, or require you to eat kale! To prove it, let’s start with a brief look at my own self care routine.

What I do to take care of myself is actually pretty basic. Now, I’ve been very stressed preparing to create this blog video; getting used to being in front of a camera, lights, and a crew of people. To prepare myself, I made sure that I didn’t have anything heavy to do yesterday. I cleared my calendar and went for a walk in the woods near my house, because nature has a calming effect on me. I talked to two friends on the phone and I went to bed early.

Pretty simple, right? It didn’t take much time, didn’t cost me a cent, and left me feeling energized to share self care tips with you today. So why don’t we dive in? With a little bit of self discovery, you’ll find a rejuvenating routine that works for you in no time...

Find Your Own Personal Nirvana

Self-care is deeply individual. While you may feel inclined to go to your favorite search engine for self-care tips, often the best ideas are already within you. I created a series of questions below to help you unearth some of these personal insights. I encourage you to record your answers in a notebook, as the insights that come will serve as your own unique ‘self care blueprint’!

Ask Yourself...

When I’m feeling overwhelmed, what little relaxing things do I daydream of doing?
Do I feel most recharged when I get alone time, or when I get to spend time with friends?
What makes stress dissolve faster for me...increasing physical activity or resting my body?
Imagine you have a long weekend coming up. What activities would you plan if your only aim was to feel joyful, relaxed, and totally refreshed?

Another clue is to ask your friends and family...

When am I the happiest?
When you notice that I’m happy, what activities am I doing?

Just Say ‘No’

Equally critical to self care is choosing what activities to decline doing. Now, in no way am I suggesting that you abandon your responsibilities in the name of relaxation...if only life were that easy! Instead, I’m inviting you to think about the little things you have choice over that drain your energy. Then, make the decision to forego those activities for a time.

For instance, one thing I didn’t do yesterday was look at my screens. I opted out of engaging with social media, emails, or staying up late reading on my iPad. Technology is wonderful, but it can be a distraction from ourselves and drain our mental energy in subtle ways.

Ask yourself, “what other small habits or activities could I hit ‘pause’ on to create more space for tranquility?” Consider doing things like taking small breaks during the day for just two or three minutes to breathe and be present with yourself. Dismiss yourself from cooking dinner and grab carry-out instead. Have a quiet night in if you’re not feeling up to drinks after work with the coworkers. Self care means giving yourself permission to say ‘no, right now I need space.’

Ask For Help

Another very useful tool for self care is asking for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. I know so many men and women who believe that requesting help will make them look weak, or become burdensome to others. Oddly enough, these same people would happily spring to their feet at a moment’s notice when a friend or family member needs them! If you feel any resistance to the idea of asking for help, just think about all times you were grateful that a loved one came to you for a shoulder to lean on.

Asking for help can be as simple as calling a friend for some much-needed encouraging words. Or, it could be asking your partner to handle dinner so that you have time to decompress after work. The best part about asking for help is that it invites a positive social exchange into a stressful time. Small acts of kindness from loved ones are a reassuring reminder that you have a support system - and that alone will work wonders on your mental state.

Spend some time to consider the small, nourishing things you could add into your daily life. Look at your journaling responses from the earlier exercise, pick a few relaxing activities, and add them into your weekly calendar. Commit yourself to enjoying small things that bring you peace, and remember the 80/20 rule. Just a small investment in your self care will shower the remaining majority of your life with benefits. Take this to heart, and I know you will find yourself shifting into a more relaxed, joyful ‘baseline’.